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5 Ways to Move On From a Heartbreak
Contributed by: Elyanna Yasi
Source: www.psychologytoday.com (Living Forward blog by Jennice Vilhauer Ph.D)
Getting over a lost love is painful. You just want curl up and retreat from the rest of the world. It doesn’t matter if it was a long-term relationship, a short-lived cyber affair, or an unrequited love. You hold on to every bit of memory and special moments. Let go, get over it, recover – easy to say but much harder to do. Everyone has different coping mechanism but here are some tips you can use to free yourself from tears, regret, and despair:
Do this at least for a little while. Keeping an ex in your life is not by itself a sign of maturity; knowing how to take care of yourself and your emotional well-being is.When you are hurting, you are vulnerable. Protecting yourself with healthy boundaries is an essential part of good self-care. Politely let your ex know you need your space and would prefer not to be in contact for the time being.
Relationships always end for a reason.There is often a long list of what each person did or didn’t do that led to all the fighting and hurt feelings. Most people don’t want the relationship they actually hadback. What they mourn for is the relationship they thought they could have had if things had just been different. Our mind is trying to heal our heart, the painful memories often get shifted to the background and we find ourselves remembering and longing for the good times. We forget who the person really was and idealize who we wanted them to be.But the truth is, that relationship didn’t exist. Letting go of these events and thoughts will be an important part of the forgiveness and healing process, but in order to let go of something you must first acknowledge and accept that it happened.
When someone treats you poorly or does something hurtful, it is a natural and healthy response to feel some anger.Nothing hurts more than when someone you love does something that causes you to reevaluate who you believed them to be.But when we hold on to anger and resentment from past experiences we take them with us into the future.Learning to forgive and make peace with things that happened in the past can happen more easily when you take your focus off of the specific events that occurred and instead try to see the perspective of the people involved.
Love is never wrong. When someone comes into your life and allows you the opportunity to experience love; that is always a true gift. Part of maturity, however, is recognizing that love by itself isn’t always enough to make a relationship work.But moving on from a relationship that isn’t working isn’t always about ending the love you feel. Sometimes the only way to let go is to love someone enough to want the best for him or her even if that means not being together.
Ultimately, moving on from a relationship that wasn’t working is about loving yourself. Self-forgiveness is an important part of self-love. In hindsight, you may feel that there are things you could have done differently, but it is impossible to know what different outcomes could have been.Every relationship, if we let it, can teach us something about ourselves and give us greater clarity about what we need in order to be happy.If you believe that it might be helpful to make certain changes in your own behavior, such as learning to set better boundaries or improve your communication skills, then embrace your chance to do this so that your next relationship can be even more amazing.